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Writer's picturecaitlyndenherder

The Late and Updated Christmas Card!

Updated: Jan 26

It's time for another family update! This was meant to come at the end of December as our "Christmas card" since I made one but then failed to print it out and mail it. Most of this is a general update with the Christmas card part being in the middle!


As most of you know, I am pregnant with our fourth child! Matt and I are ecstatic about this! All of our children are such blessings and we are thrilled that God is blessing us with another!

During my pregnancy with Rosalie, I was told that it would be too dangerous to have anymore children and that I should have my last tube removed "sterilizing myself". I wasn't happy about this but when they were saying how it would be better to make sure I was alive for my current children, they definitely scared me into signing the paperwork for a tubal to be done during the c-section for Rosie.

When I went into labor and arrived at the hospital, there was not a single doctor on duty from my office which was surprising and irritating for us. We were asked for the physical paperwork for the tubal since in CA, it is illegal to have done unless you have paperwork that was signed a month in advance to hand in physically. We did not have this paperwork as my office failed to give it to me and when I asked for it at another appointment, was told I did not need a physical copy since they had it in their system. I did not realize that this was illegal for them not to give it to me. The hospital tried to locate the paperwork for me to print out so I could have the physical copy needed but as no one from my office was in, they could not access that information. Matt and I were more than angry with my OB office.

In the end, the "House Doctor" delivered Rosie (she was amazing and I really liked her!) but no tubal was done for legal reasons. My OB office gave a "sorry" later which wasn't acceptable, but Matt and I aren't the sue happy types and no one was hurt.

The head OB of my office talked with me after Rosie was born and disagreed with what the other doctors and PA's had told me about the dangers of more kids. She told me that we could have more children safely if we wanted to; especially since my pregnancy with Rosie went so smoothly and it would just be another c-section for safety reasons due to both of the boys having shoulder dystocia without being big babies and coming early.


So that's the story of being told no more children and then confusing everyone by choosing to grow our family again!


As for this pregnancy; it has been the easiest and smoothest pregnancy yet! I have not had any morning sickness other than 1.5 weeks of nausea around week nine. I've been more exhausted this time around but that's not surprising with being pregnant AND nursing.

I'm a couple of days away from 16 weeks and have yet to have a single prenatal appointment. Very irritating but also nice as it's my fourth and the appointments just annoy me. My "ex" primary put my referral through incorrectly four times. I gave up on them after that and switched to a new PCM. When I called to make my appointment (after I had already been put with them) I was told that the doctor decided she didn't want to take Tricare anymore and I would need to find someone else. So back to Tricare I went and found yet another PCM through UCSD this time. I got in with that doctor and she is my favorite I have ever had in my life! She got the referral in correctly immediately and I had the best and most thorough appointment in my life.

My first OB appointment is this Friday and I went with UCSD for the OB this time too. I won't ever be going back to my previous OB.


-AND NOW FOR THE FAMILY UPDATES-


Little miss Rosalie has such a personality on her which I honestly shouldn't be all that surprised about with her having to stand up to two big brothers. She will be a force to be reckoned with as she grows up! She is crawling everywhere, crab walking every chance she gets, wants to hold our hands so that she can walk, and gets grumpy when she is unable to master a skill that she wants to be able to do. She has two teeth and judging from her grumpiness level, has more that will soon break through. She will be ONE in a couple of weeks!


Jonathan is now three and loves everything trains. His favorite colors are pink and purple and he loves painting. He has been in preschool since October but has probably missed more days than he's gone at this point as his immune system adjusts to the other kids and their germs. He graduated from speech therapy the end of December!


Joshua is now four and is a huge fan of tractors and "the floor is lava". His favorite color is green and he loves active and imaginative play. He also started preschool in October and missed the same amount of days from sickness. He graduated speech therapy in December as well!


Matt is now LCDR and the OPS for DESRON 23. His new command position comes with a spot promote, so he will be putting on CDR in the next few months. He is now deployed and won't be back till the end of summer.


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As far as this deployment is going, I have discovered that it is a lot harder on children as they get older. The boys are really missing daddy and are unfortunately at an age where they very much notice his absence but don't really understand the why, even with many age appropriate explanations.

There have been many attitude changes, listening troubles and acting out as they adjust. I fully anticipated these issues and am trying to gently and gracefully take it all and respond in love. In all honestly, I have failed multiple times to react as I would like to because hey, it's hard on me too; but we apologize a lot and give hugs and love constantly throughout the day.


My Bible time has gotten very difficult to devote the same time I had been before getting pregnant. I have been incredibly tired through the first trimester and I unfortunately went to no God time. After Matt left, I realized that my mental health was getting very bad and the more time I give to God every day, the better that gets.

I have now started my Bible time again with reading Jesus Calling every day (my favorite devotional as it somehow always has the exact thing I need each and every day), reading a shorter amount of the Bible and then praying at random times throughout the day and night since Rosalie is much more demanding of my attention now.

Day by day, I am feeling better and better and each day runs smoother as I remember to give my day, myself, my children, and our life to the Lord.


The Lord has been very clear with me that He loves continuously, even when I don't come to Him for a season. He showed me recently that I had put Matt on a pedestal as my safety net and that was why I was having such a hard time after Matt left; because my feeling of safety left on that ship too. After I saw that, I began to specifically pray for God to take up the place in my heart again and apologized for removing Him.

Now obviously with Matt as my husband and the amazing relationship that we have been blessed with, he will make me feel safe and that is good. I'm not saying that I shouldn't have a feeling of safety from my husband. I'm saying that my only feeling of safety should not come from him. The Lord is the only one who can offer true safety in this life and we need to remember to lean on Him in every way and in every aspect of our lives.


Now we have come to the end of my long and overdue family update along with our Christmas card! Hopefully next year I will be able to get one mailed out in a timely manner.

My family would greatly appreciate prayers for adjustments while Matt is gone and for safety for Matt while he is away.


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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