Life has been busy (isn't it always?). Adjusting to three children and finding my groove has taken a little longer than anticipated but it has been entirely enjoyable. Josh is now four, Jonathan is three, and we now have little Rosalie who is seven (soon to be eight) months.
The boys have started homeschool (more on that soon), as well as attending the preschool at our church for two half days a week. Rosalie is rolling all over the floor and has come to the point where it's harder to keep her entertained. Matt is getting ready for a command change and we are mentally preparing for a deployment in the early New Year.
Life can be very stressful and full of anxiety. Normally, with all of these things going on and my mind having to move in every direction, I would be extremely short tempered and have some anger issues. I'm not saying that I don't have any of the usual issues with a busy life, but this time is different.
Right after I had Rosie, I began to truly take time with God every single day. I finally took time every morning to pray and read my bible. To sit and listen. To wake up in the quiet of the morning and give my day to the Lord.
I thank him for protection through the night, praise him for his love and provisions of our family, thank him for the innumerable blessings that he's given me that I know I don't deserve but he gives to me anyways, and ask for protection in the new day. I ask him to help me with my temper, depression and anxiety, to guard my actions and reactions, and to give me a spirit of peace, gentleness, kindness, self-control, love and joy. I pray specifically for my husband, my children, and my family and friends. I pray for my church and our pastor.
(I'm realizing as I'm writing this that I need to be also praying for our country, state, and city)
While I was getting myself into the habit of reading my bible every day, I decided to read a Psalm every day. On days that the Psalm was very short, I would read two or three.
I read one of the Proverbs a day (you can match the Proverb to the day of the month since there are 31). I jumped back and forth with some Old Testament and New Testament readings. I was drawn especially to the Gospels; so I read through all of those matching each chapter between all of them to get the different sides from each apostle. Now I'm reading through the epistles.
I have found in the last seven months of taking this time with my Lord every day, that my days run much more smoothly, problems that used to seem like too much to handle are now small and easy and I'm loving and enjoying my family so much more now. All in all, there is a beauty and joy in each and every day that wasn't there before.
Yes, I still stress and lose my temper, but those things no longer consume me.
I'm now seeing that just like with our earthly relationships that you put time and effort into; that same effort is needed with God.
When I met my husband, we hadn't grown up together. We were truly starting from scratch in our relationship. We went out on dates and talked all of the time to get to know who the other person was as we wondered and prayed if this was the person that God had set aside for each of us. If we hadn't taken any time to talk and listen to each other, we would have never gotten to know each other.
It's the same way with God except that he already knows every little detail about us since he lovingly and carefully created us. We just need to get to know him better and align our lives with his perfect design.
The more I read my bible, talk to God AND listen to him, the better my life gets. I now have a peace I didn't have before. My faith is growing daily to the fact that he truly wants the best for me and loves me unconditionally. When I come to God with requests, I'm learning to ask with the faith that he will answer. In the same way that I can go to my earthly father with a request; and for the most part, he almost always says yes and has taken joy over the years with giving me things, God is our heavenly Father who delights in giving to his children.
It's a love story that is unfolding day by day.