Long Days

It's only been one week since Matt left, and yet it feels like so much longer. The days are crawling by and the evenings are so incredibly lonely.

I have busied myself with cleaning the house, doing laundry, homeschool, and the never ending chore of feeding all of us multiple times a day. For some reason, when Matt is gone, I just don't want to cook.

The kids are doing alright. Rosie still expects Matt to walk through the door in the evenings when she hears a noise outside which is heartbreaking for me. The boys understand this time so are doing a bit better.

I went against my usual homebody self last week and took us all to the air show at Mirimar which was enjoyable. Even with noise canceling headphones for the kids, it was too loud and Rosalie in particular was terrified. I think I'm going to go back to my homebody self now though cause going out is just stressful at the moment. Going somewhere once a week seems like a good amount. We did venture to the pharmacy today which got us out of the house.

Weekends are definitely the hardest. That's when we would normally have family time and get to be together; which now, we don't. Saturday's are the longest day. I'm tempted to to do school on Saturday's too, just to give us something to do that will take up time but I don't want to burn myself or the kids out. Sunday, we have church in the morning and family dinner in the evening, so it's only the middle of the day that takes forever with feeling lonely.

I have been very much enjoying homeschooling! The boys are doing well with it and we are all learning as we go. It is giving me more of a sense of purpose on top of mothering which I'm loving. It's what I look forward to each and every day right now.

It's weird being so far from Matt but still being able to text, call, and video call. It definitely helps for the kids to be able to see daddy every now and then.

He hasn't been able to check into the command yet since they're still out at sea but they should be back in the next week or so and then Matt will have some friends and work to do.

This post has taken me multiple days to write. I can't seem to get my brain to focus on just writing down how I'm feeling at the moment. It will get easier as time goes on.